


Look Some More

by FrostCryptid



Category: Bleach
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, Asexual Kurosaki Ichigo, Asexual Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pillow Talk, Trans Character, Transgender Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, Transgender Kurosaki Ichigo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 23:22:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20455241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostCryptid/pseuds/FrostCryptid
Summary: Grimmjow has thoughts floating in his head about things. Things better talked about than kept to himself but he's not used to having someone to talk to and fears being left behind.Luckily, he has Ichigo to show him better.





	Look Some More

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Adversary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adversary/gifts).

> So, another _very_ late birthday gift to my honey bunches.
> 
> I met Ad in the ShiroIchi server as well. It took me a little bit to get used to being in a discord server again. I was nervous about vcing at first but joined anyway and unmuted to talk to people. He joined as well and we were bantering back and forth. His first words to me were "COME FUCK ME YOURSELF, YOU COWARD" and we hit it off. He's come to mean so much to me and I love him so fucking much. <3
> 
> I'm so sorry this shit is late hfjdhdjklsa

Grimmjow watched Ichigo. That was nothing new but he still did it. They lay in bed together with Ichigo sound asleep laying on him, using him as a pillow. Not minding one bit as his hand ran through orange hair slowly and sensually, ensuring the other stayed asleep. He knew Ichigo pushed himself to the brink and was ready to collapse until Grimmjow came around and forced him to relax.

Essays, studying, tests, reading. None of that mattered. Not really. Not to Grimmjow.

Ichigo was the only one able to pull this side of Grimmjow out. Everyone else got his snarky attitude. Ingrained into him ever since before he could remember, he had no other way to be. Hell, it took a long time for him to even be like _this_ with Ichigo.

_Gods above, he was turning into a sap._

To see a smile on Ichigo's face, no matter how small, was always worth getting this far. Most of the time he acted like a bit of a hard ass or a total asshole to a lot of people, hating others knowing him to have a better side. Why did they need to know? They didn't see him everyday or hang out with him constantly.

Besides, they weren't even close to holding a candle to Ichigo.

_His_ Ichigo.

His beautiful, powerful, passionate Ichigo.

Made just for Grimmjow in a world gone mad and in a world so sad.

Ichigo deserved the world itself on a silver platter, heeling under his command. With the power he had between Zangetsu and Ossan, there really wasn't much he couldn't do. He seemed impossible to kill no matter how many times his enemies had tried and no matter how strong the enemy. The mess of a teen never seemed to run out of power ups and what he couldn’t defeat with strength, he defeats with the speed of his bankai.

Grimmjow was happy to help relax him in whatever way he could. Whether that be from cuddling or making out depended on their mood. Neither was interested in sex or getting naked in general.

Ichigo had gotten surgery done when he was fifteen, before he even started developing anything really. His father was in full support of it and even helped him save money for it though Ichigo almost refused it considering he wanted to do it all himself. His sisters were the ones to remind him he couldn’t do it all by himself since it was so expensive after he explained how he felt. More like a boy rather than the girl he was born as.

It was harder for Grimmjow since he had died before anything could be done. He couldn’t even remember what year he died. Since he was also technically a spirit, he couldn’t really have the same surgeries or take injections. The best he could do was a gigai that gave him the body he wanted to have as the binder they made for him as a spirit helped very little. It sucked when he had to leave it the dysphoria would return but he knew it was never for long and Urahara had said it was his to keep.

More often than not, he stayed with Ichigo and not just because of the gigai but also because they shared _something_. Attraction, yes. Fondness, yes, though he’d rather die again than admit it aloud. A word he dare not even think lest he jynx himself like before.

Scars on their chests, and not the one Ichigo gave him with Getsuga Tensho. Not liking anything more intimate than making out or cuddling close together. Most nights they spent together was Ichigo doing homework or a movie night. Add an occasional fight here and there. That had become their life together.

They both revelled in it.

Grimmjow's hand stopped at thinking of what he'd do when Ichigo died. His soul would go straight to Soul Society without so much as a choice. The arrancar might have his days numbered with the shinigami substitute. Eventually, this would end. No more days or nights spent together. No more fights. No more cuddling or kissing. No more _them_.

Something he knew he couldn't stand for but would happen regardless and once again Grimmjow would get left behind.

Left alone in the land of white sand with a moonlit sky.

It hurt more than anything else.

Ichigo leaving him alone because he found better people. Someone better for him. Someone more stable and who didn't want to fight constantly. Someone more of sound mind. Like Ichigo would be happy with that, but Grimmjow wouldn't blame him if it occurred. He would eventually be pushed to the side and he would deal without making a big fuss. Ichigo deserved better than that.

"You stopped."

Blue eyes looked at the top of Ichigo's head, going back to running his hand through long, orange hair. "You should be asleep."

"I heard you loud and clear." Ichigo snuggled closer, finding a more comfortable position and wiggles until he was satisfied. "You're doing it again."

"Running my hand through your hair? Thought you didn't mind?"

"I don't. Don't change the subject, asshole." If he didn't hit Grimmjow, he was definitely not awake enough. "Something's getting to you again. Talk to me."

"It's stupid."

"Don't stew in it." Ichigo was serious. Serious enough to lock eyes. Brown meeting blue in an intense stare down. Grimmjow knew he already lost, he always did. Those eyes got to him every single time. It was why both knew this was just a dumb pissing contest since both knew who would win even before Ichigo woke up. That was saying something.

He sighed looking at the opposite wall. “Just the same old shit.” Grimmjow couldn’t lie so he would beat around the bush. There was no other way other than telling Ichigo the truth and that needed to be avoided. “Staying away for too long or you overworking yourself.” That at least was somewhat true. Part of it.

“You’re not saying something.” A hand gently turned his head to meet brown again, cupping his cheek softly. “What’s wrong?”

Grimmjow leaned his head into the hand contemplating. This thing they had could be ruined if he didn't keep his trap shut, but Ichigo hated when he didn't talk things out. Bottling them up until they fought where he let loose every time. It happened a lot less now since he had seriously injured Ichigo one time.

Once had been enough.

He marveled at his bedmate. Not sure exactly what he did to have a chance with Ichigo but kept him close all the same. Let someone or something try and take him away. Grimmjow would fight fang and claw. Sword and steel. Fists and feet. Nothing would make him stay down until Ichigo was with him again.

Kissing the palm softly left him with thoughts of maybe just once he’d be safe to speak up. Let his words be heard rather than keeping them inside, keeping them close to his heart. “I don’t want to lose you.” He said it so quietly, so _desperately_. Even admitting it had him fearful it would come true.

Everyone knew him as the overly cocky, angry all the time, and ready for a fight Arrancar. No one knew him like Ichigo. No one ever cared to except for Nel. That was because there were so few of them now. Few Espada anyway. She wanted them all to stay together.

Most of the time though, he stays away and keeps to himself. He was too used to being alone from having to watch his back all the time from other hollows, especially after he lost his fracción. One person changed that when he met him as a self sacrificing teenager. A teenager who turned into a still flourishing young man. A still flourishing young man who gained Grimmjow’s trust and won his guarded heart.

Ichigo's face changed from confusion to sympathy and fondness. "Grimm. My strong, bullheaded Grimm. You won't. You're too important and when I die, because it will happen, you'll be the one I run to. Not Soul Society, not Hueco Mundo, and not back to Living World. Wherever you are is where I'll be going."

Grimmjow could tell he spoke the truth. From the bottom of his heart, Ichigo knew who he belonged with. All he did was hurt people, even Ichigo, but that's where Ichigo would go.

To him.

_With_ him.

He tucked his face in Ichigo's neck. A hand buried itself in his hair at the back of his head to keep him right where he was. "You see? I'm not going anywhere unless it's with you."

If Grimmjow held Ichigo tighter and started crying, Ichigo didn't mind.

They both knew this as temporary and Grimmjow would be back to his usual self in the morning, reading for a fight. For now, they held each other as close as they could, no space left between them.


End file.
